same boy you’ve always known


I know you’re out there
and I want you to think
good of me,
but in recent years
time hasn’t been
what it promised to be,
you taught me all
about the good and the bad
when you yourself weren’t sure,
and despite all evidence
to the contrary
my life isn’t as pure

and now I’ve left
your ways, and grown
into something, of my own
I know how you feel
but I’m not the same
boy, you’ve always known.

I know you’re out there
and maybe even
wondering what went wrong,
although it might be true
but we are right
where, we actually belong,
the times we spent
doodling our lives
on the dried canvas of dead leaves,
love me or not
but it wasn’t something
that was meant to be
and now I’ve left
your side, and grown
into something of my own,
you might feel betrayed
but i’m not the same
friend, you’ve always known.

Like brother, like sister


Let me start today with a little bit of history.
My personal history.

Or to be more precise, my writing history.

I started writing when I was in 6th grade. Or maybe 5th. Not really sure. It has definitely been a while. And the reason why I started was a girl who used to sit next to me and she had written 4 lines one day which rhymed, and to me as a 5th grader, reading those lines was like magic.

THEY RHYME!

Don’t wanna exaggerate here but my whole world kind of changed. Those four lines sounded beautiful, and it occurred to me that if she can write that, why can’t I? So next couple of months, I spent reading several stories and started translating them into poem-like form, so that they rhyme every alternate sentence.

For me, that was quite an accomplishment at that age.

For everyone else that I showed it to, it wasn’t.

Most of them didn’t get it and probably thought I was wasting my time doing things that no one else was doing.

And this has carried on for my whole life and still does with most of the things I do.

But I’m a stubborn kind. So I said, fuck them. I’ll keep on doing what I like to do.

And that’s pretty much how I learned everything.

Growing up in a place where creative endeavors were limited to only painting in classrooms as a part of curriculum wasn’t particularly easy when you have a knack of doing things that are considered “different”. But having family and friends who didn’t discourage that was a big plus.

And years down the lane, a funny thing happened.

It’s okay to be different now.

It’s okay to learn tennis when everyone else is playing cricket.
It’s okay to play guitar when everyone else is spending their time on the streets.
It’s okay to write and express when everyone else is being everyone else.

And it couldn’t have made me any prouder when I found out how my younger sister picked up on these things and started pursuing what she likes to do. Maybe this is a common thing for you to happen around you or in your family, but trust me when I say this, as a brother, there’s no bigger feeling than seeing your younger sister have the guts to follow what she wants.

Here’s one of her poems she sent me few days ago. I read it and it instantly took me back many years ago when I used to write and not show it to anyone because I was so sure they wouldn’t get it. Or maybe I was just scared of what they’ll think of it.

And to anyone reading this who’s afraid of sharing any personal art, whether it’s paintings, writing, music, anything in public for whatever reason, let me tell you something. You’re way better at it than you think you are. And you’re not gonna find that out until you do it. So please, just do it. Thank you.

“More, I discover this outside world,
I feel connected to it,
Everything swirled,
Preserved each bit,

More, I discover these people,
I open up,
They, Extremely treacle,
I, can’t hold up…”

Go follow her here: https://akshitatyagi11blog.wordpress.com/

Midnight


One quick glance at the clock,

And I dragged my heavy feet,

But just when I was,

Passing the playroom,

My heart suddenly skipped a beat,

My daughter sat there playing with her dollhouse,

In that room together we were,

She looked calm and beautiful,

Just like she had four years back,

When I cremated her…

Heaven….I found it!


Yes, it’s true! I found it…I did it. I’m seriously not kidding! And I really want those two guys to know this, who wasted my hour preaching me about Jesus and telling me what to do if I want to go to heaven. Obviously I’m not against Jesus or any religion or their beliefs, but seriously guys, you don’t go to heaven just by doing those things. I wondered if heaven existed in real! How do you know for sure?

And then I found it. Today while talking to my friend in India, my home sweet home, I was telling him about the college here, the atmosphere, all the other important stuff! He was in awe and exclaimed, “Looks like you’re in heaven!”.

And i was like, “Maybe..!”

But then I realized, I was in heaven. Not because of the atmosphere or the college or the new things I was experiencing, but because of the people. In fact I was born in heaven and was living it for the past 20 years. Damn, it took so long to me to realize this!

People around you are the only reason this place is heaven. They make this place like heaven. But what does it look like?

Let me give you some examples:

Heaven is in Sarah, the most energetic and excited girl I’ve ever met. It’s in my math professor, who not only teaches but also go rock-climbing with you. It’s in your new friend who hugs you tightly on his birthday and says, “You’re the first friend I had in college.” It’s in all the strangers who holds the door open for you so you can get in before them. It’s in the students who help you get involved in the activities going on around. It’s in a guy who helps you with all the application process without having met you in real life. It’s in the student studying somewhere in London who does something valuable for you without even asking anything back in return. It’s in your childhood friends who are the reason why you want to get home as soon as possible. It’s in your old roommate who keeps sharing every single thing with you even after you’ve gone thousands of miles away from him. It’s in those new friends I made in previous college who still message me asking “Made a girlfriend yet?” It’s in your cousins and loved ones who take care of you at every single step when you need them. It’s in your family and your little sis back home who keeps talking about all the stuff you loved back home. It’s everywhere. It’s in everyone.

Believe me, Heaven is in you…