a dream is dead.

so walk slowly
don’t put your heavy
foot forward
stay away from the light
let it mourn over
the death, a dream has
just incurred.

let the light reflect
what it could have been
and create a shadow out of
what it has become.
do not whisper
for you may delay
its existence and
a connection with me
in a new world.

but don’t walk away
just stay, and notice
what happens after you killed
your dream last night
over a cup of coffee
you put on the blinds
and brushed it aside from
your life.
you celebrated your eyes
soon after that
and ignored the cries
coming from the floor
oh, how cruel a man
must be not to feed
and kill the child
of his own.

be careful, you’re stepping
over the line
just stop breathing
and let it die
and go back to
chasing what normality ensues
after a one last sigh.

Three More Days: a.co/8qmOtnw

time and space.

is this the only way out?
he teared up and looked up above
i tried to hold back his memories
but they flew away along with his love

don’t worry about losing
i held his face in me and let him be
if it happens it happens
someday it will be you and me

all along this time and space
we will find him through night and day
even when we are six feet under
our love will stand brave, and
forever, stay.

death

to her, death is quite romantic
the only way to please
her caring’s her religion
her sin is her lifelessness

across her thousand seas.

November 17th

Today is weird. Probably the saddest day of my life. In fact, my eyes are tearing up as I write this. Personally, I had one of the best days since I started job hunting. I talked to 2 companies today who are both interested in getting me on board, had great interviews with them, but today put a void in my soul that’s probably never going to be filled.

Today, one of my best friend’s mom died.

My fingers falter a little as I type this out. I’m not even exaggerating, my hands don’t want to do this. But as I force myself to spit my feelings out, I can only think of how my friend is feeling 9,000 miles away from where I am. Actually, he’s more than a friend. A brother from another mother. That’s right, another mother. That’s probably what she was, not only to me but to everyone in our little friends circle for most of our lives.

I think I have replayed the conversation when he told me that in my mind around 100 times, hoping that something might change this time. But nope, it is what it is. I spent my whole day in utter shock. And wondering about how we take things for granted. Always so sure that our loved ones are going to be there when we visit home next time. I cried. I cried when I was telling other people. I shed some tears every time I thought about it. I couldn’t even finish half of my sentences today. I was at loss of words. I still am.

The thought of someone so close dead at such a young age is terrifying. Last night, a friend asked me what I missed the most about home. I told her that the fact that I can just lay my head in my mother’s lap and fall asleep whenever I want is the only thing I really miss. We don’t even know sometimes how lucky we actually are. I didn’t know what to say to my friend when he told me. It took me a good half an hour to actually believe what he had said. I still don’t know what to tell you brother. Other than this, that even though I can’t, all I want right now is to hug you and be with you. To show you that you are never alone in this. That I’m always there. Always. That if you ever feel like lost, or lonely, just look up at the sky, and that’s the same one I’m sharing with you. And your mother may be not be physically there anymore, but she’s always going to be there in our hearts.

That is all I want to say to you.

Rain

Shall I compare you to a rainy day?
You are more thunderous and wet
with misery, giving turbulent winds a way,
Reminiscence of the time we met,
Sometimes too noisy for the eager ear,
And often making the landscape dreary,
Always gray and too much to bear,
Exploring and exploiting the confused and weary,
But your eternal excitement will never fade,
Nor the smile you put on my face will die,
For you’ll be the broken star to whom I prayed,
Leaving behind a trail of stardust in that rainy sky,
So long as your heart can see what’s essential & right,
So long lives this, and you, and your yellow light.

Telltale signs

I bled to death
yesterday
but now,
I’m fine.

let me rinse
my soul
with endless stream
of frosty spirits
and
remove

all the
telltale signs.

All you need to know

You’re gonna die.

Do something about it.

If I die tomorrow

If I die tomorrow
would you
miss me?

Would you miss
the dance of my naked footsteps
on the cold wooden floor

Would you miss
my voice
in your ears

Would you miss
getting lost
in my coffee pool eyes

Would you miss
my laugh
echoing through your heart

Will you miss
the way
the rise
and
the fall
of my chest quickens
when you’re near

Will you miss
how I tug
at your heart strings
with such ease

or how easily
you tug
at mine

Would you miss
the taste of spices
on my skin
from turning my empty house
into a home
whenever I cooked
for you

Would you miss
my Ying
to your Yang

Will there be
an empty space
in your heart
from all the times
I rested
my ear against you
to listen
to the song
that
your heart sings

Will there be
an empty space
in your heart

your heart

where you keep
a special place
for me

and

what about your mind?

Will it be
the same
when I’m gone

or

Will you always
remember the nights
we spent
talking about
our true selves
and
how we’ll
take over the
world
and
dreamed about
having skinny feet
together

Will you remember

That
your eyes
are
my favorite color

That
your “hello”
is
my favorite sound

That
your warmth
is
my favorite feeling

Will you miss
me
the way
I already miss you?

Eaten up

We’re all going to die.

All of us.

Sooner or later.

That alone should make us love each other.

But it doesn’t.

Instead, we are terrorized and flattened by trivialities.

Trivialities that mean nothing.

That matter the least in our lives.

And we hype it up.

We are eaten up by nothing.

Let’s arrive in style

From one of my favorite poets, Atticus.