high and low.

five words that’s all you said
followed by five more
but never ever
you picked up your phone
and followed five more words
but nothing more

and now it’s late
in the dark
and the moon is nowhere
where it should be tonight
the black is taking over
the light
of your eyes

so darling
let’s not run away
to where we can’t make roads
you stay where you at
and i’ll be gone
soon as i get a little low.

silence.

i am the dark
silence
of the night
in your room
sharing space
with your blues

occasionally
interrupted
by the howling
cries of your
deserted life.

end + begin.

let’s talk about love, she said
her eyes waiting for me
how would you describe it
instead of just letting it be

all of this we’ll talk about
it’s just going to be a memory
it did take a long time to find
but something’s dead in me
we had laughed, we had played
we had leaned on and let in
and then the leaves turned cold
time always at the end, begins.

and the light drained back to
the window it flooded from
we sat in a dark silence
all things about love, gone.

Be vulnerable

and you’ll be surprised what you learn and who you meet.

Be vulnerable

if you are going to have a real relationship with someone.

Because someone has to be the first.

Be the one who opens up the dialogue.

Who asks questions.

Who cares.

No one has it all figured out. We are all just trying really hard.

If you can be vulnerable, you can share the journey with others who have similar insecurities.

And when we open our hearts, we get better.

Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

together

you are unsure.
and i must admit,
i am too.

you are scared.
and i must tell you,
i understand why.

you are afraid.
and i must say,
i feel the same.

but love,
do stars
not thrive
together
in the dark?

Black and blue

Is it fear that always brings us here?
Or the voices we hear at night?
Do they speak just to make us weak?
When we seek for the light,

We twist, we fall, we crawl,
We break our hearts,
We stare, we wonder, we fear,
But we’re never apart,

And in the space between the stars,
We take it one small step too far,
We make promises and break our hearts,
I don’t want us to get lost in the dark,

Strange things happen but only few,
Where it’s going to lead I wish we knew,
Black roads ahead and without any clue,
We move on embracing the blue..

Wings of Freedom

I walk,

I walk on the street,

Under the stars,

Upon their glittering sheet…

Shining the way,

I’ve never known,

They were all together,

But why I was all alone…

Why should I alone feel all the light,

Under my feet when they shine bright,

My steps make the splashing sound,

Just enough loud to cover my wounds…

All of noises and all of sounds,

All the moments for which I look around,

They all come to me with so much speed,

Carrying all the memories and all my deeds,

I look up and reflect on them,

They’re gliding away in the sky,

Wish I could capture them,

And bid them a deserving goodbye…

I glance,

Down on the stars,

The shine is what set them apart…

The darkness around,

It just fades away,

Over the trees,

Where the birds lay…

Distracted they all start to fly,

Above my head in the moonlit sky,

Then why should I be feeling so trapped,

When the life is always full of crap…

All of noises and all  of sounds,

All the places that I look around,

They all glow with a new sense,

It makes me jump off the fence,

And follow the birds wherever they go,

They’re free to live their life,

I also want to go to the place they know,

And feel their freedom vibes…

Why I couldn’t give SAT??

Spent more than10  hours in a bus travelling to 2 different states in a journey which started at around 6 PM and ended at around 4 AM. Felt and fought the chilling waves of the early morning. No sleep for more than 24 hours. Reached the examination center as early as possible. Yet, I couldn’t give SAT. For real? Yes! But why? Lets hear the story of a journey then…

Me and my friend were all set to give SAT on 4th Nov. But why did we want to give SAT? Its because we both shared a common dream of attending an Ivy-League School. So SAT was the option, and we began our journey to explore it. First, we figured out how to get to the destination. We had to take a bus, then change it for the another one at the midnight, and that probably meant no sleep at all before the examination night! So we took the bus at 6 PM, reached the mid-stop destination at around 11 PM. And yes, it was getting colder and colder as the hours flew by. Maybe I felt a little more colder because of the exam the next day. You know students freak out a lot before the Big-Day! But I’m not one of them. Still it was very cold 😉

The 2nd bus started the journey at around 11:30 PM. We expected to reach our destination at around 2 in the morning. But I guess we were very very wrong! It was all foggy, and you can imagine the speed of the bus, very slow. It was a horrifying image of a vehicle travelling alone in the dark, coming out of nowhere and going to the same place! We stopped at least 2 times to eat and drink (not the bad drinks!). When at last we reached our destination at  4 in the morning, we were like “OMG, I’m too sleepy!”.

Somehow I got my 2 hours (not exactly!) of sleep and then got ready for the SAT, the next hurdle to be crossed off from my list! truth to be told, I was excited, not frightened, and quite fresh after the tire-some journey. We collected all our documents and the admit card and were completely set to make a mark in the exam. So my high hopes, I went into the center, got all my documents checked, and then was called in the office!

I didn’t know then what was going on, but later I found out I was not alone. There were around 6 students with me, including my friend, and the issue was told to us then. “All you guys and girls don’t have your passports with you, so you’re not allowed to give SAT“, the announcement was made, and I was like “WTF!” It was written on the admit card that you have to bring your Identification along with you, and I’ve everything, but why passport?

Then it was made clear. “The Indians and Pakistani students have to bring their passports for their ID verification. Nothing else will work.” Then I understood. The Collegeboard has some set of rules for the whole world, and some additional rules for the Indians and the Pakistanis. First, their extra fees which is added to the common fee+international fee. So the fees looks like: Common fee+International Fee+Fee for being from India, Isn’t it funny! And then the passport rule, ONLY PASSPORT WILL WORK, nothing else.

So that’s why I couldn’t give my SAT and was kindly asked to go out of the center after such a journey. But you know I have a wish to go to Ivy-League School, so I’m giving the SAT on 28th Jan next year, with much better preparation. And this time, I also have my passport ready :), so please no more additional rules Collegeboard!