surprise surprise

Hello there lovely people,

I have some exciting news today for y’all. I have been working on my first book for a while now, and it’s finally here! It’s called “Three More Days” and I couldn’t be more excited sharing it with you 😀

You can get your copy on Amazon (I’d say get at least 3 copies, you know, just in case) and share it with your friends as well who are into poetry. It also includes a shoutout to all my wonderful readers, so yes, y’all made it in the final version! Honestly, I would’ve never thought of writing a book if you were not this amazing with your responses to my posts here, so it’s really all your fault that this book is out now.

So accept your responsibility, grab a copy, and let me know if you liked it (or if you liked it).

Cheers!

to know is to…

“to know is to possess, and any fact is possessed by everyone who knows it, whereas those who feel the truth are possessed, not possessors.”

-e.e. cummings

he’s leaving home

saturday morning
at 5 AM
he leaves his clothes
across the hallway
silently closing the door behind
he picks up the keys
and now he’s free.

goodbyes were
just some words on a note
that he hoped would say more
and as his friend
tries to recollect her clothes
from last night
she picks up the note
and clutches her handkerchief
“love is an adventure
when adventure is love”, it said
“i do love you but
if i don’t live now, i’d rather be dead.”

high and low.

five words that’s all you said
followed by five more
but never ever
you picked up your phone
and followed five more words
but nothing more

and now it’s late
in the dark
and the moon is nowhere
where it should be tonight
the black is taking over
the light
of your eyes

so darling
let’s not run away
to where we can’t make roads
you stay where you at
and i’ll be gone
soon as i get a little low.

writing blues.

writing poetry is a lot like playing blues music.

it’s definitely about what you say and how you express yourselves. what words you choose, how you phrase them, and what’s the bigger idea, the theme, the feeling behind those words you’re trying to convey.

but even more important thing to keep in mind is what you don’t say.

and this is a big one. poetry is an art form. you’re a performer and your readers are your audience. you are standing up on this stage, singing / playing for them. and what happens when you keep saying a lot of stuff and never stop? or when you keep playing scales after scales and even more on top of it? you lose the soul. you lose the meaning behind your idea you were trying to convey.

because it’s your thoughts, when you put them out by whatever art medium you choose to, you have to give your readers / listeners enough time to process that idea. that’s why what you don’t say and giving them space is so important in writing, music and any art form. and more often than not, you also have to repeat those ideas for a stronger emphasis. that’s why you see repetition of dance steps in a performance, or same lick in a solo more than once.

same techniques can be applied to your writing as well. and no, it’s not easy to just grab a pen and start doing all these things on the go. it takes time. a lot of it. but a start is all you need to get there.

story time part 2.

if you haven’t read the first part, you’re missing out. click here.

“how’s it going?” i nodded towards her, respecting our daily rituals. i never used her name. mostly because i felt it wasn’t the real one, and the last thing i want to do early morning is piss her off. or piss off any other homeless. they might be homeless, but they ain’t harmless. they’re the kind of strangers your mum warns you about as a kid. even though to your mum, every stranger is a homeless.

“you got a dollar?” she proceeded with her lines in our little routine.

“no cash.”

now this part changed from time to time. i always had a dollar, but the answer depended on what the sun looked like that morning. more often than not, it was a no. that day was the same. i used to feel bad, but now i was immune to the reality around me. the subconscious took care of my daily interactions, leaving my mind alone to stagnate. strangers make you vulnerable, routine makes you lifeless. i’d rather be former, i thought to myself as i struggled to untangle the mystery of my earphones while walking towards the bus stop.

“the millennium collection: best of muddy waters” was next in queue. keith richards spoke very highly of this album. it was extraordinary. but there is always something about great art that hits me on a deeply personal level, whether it is music, paintings, writing, anything. what if i never get this good? will i have wasted my life pursuing something which wasn’t meant to be, or will the satisfaction of at least trying make up for all the lost times spent trying? i still have no answer. i always wish to wake up one day and have answers to my self-doubts but it never happens. tomorrow will be a new day. with a blues solo between my ears, i got off from the bus and walked inside a bookstore.

almost 10,000 books, 1 bookseller, and 2 customers.

expectation is a bitch.

“are you looking for anything particular?” asked the bookseller. his brixton hat and rugged appearance was demanding.

“no sir, just browsing.”

he then switched out the vinyl and sat down behind the timeless register, looking outside. admit or or not, everyone has a routine, even when you don’t.

i skimmed through the poetry section to see the billboard top 20 and tried to figure out the thing i was missing that those writers had. and no, it wasn’t luck. i’ll be the last person to admit that luck had any part in this bigger play of life. i like to call it trials and errors. famously taken from the rich history of experiments in science and mathematics.

“we began with honesty. let us end in it too.”

this was amazon’s bestseller writer, and oddly enough, i was jealous of a fellow countrymen. not because she was so awfully good that i knew i could never write like that, i might be better than she is, but of the connection she had with her readers that made her a bestseller. i love talking shit about these popular artists, when deep inside i know i want to be one. i want people to know who i am and what i do and read what i write and listen what i play and what i say.

the irony of my own thoughts never ceases to amaze me.

i read through couple more pages and couldn’t figure out what i was missing from my work. i had the boldness, the calmness, the clarity, much needed sensitivity, what else could it be? maybe, it is luck. dammit.

like i said, the irony of my own thoughts never ceases to amaze me.

i picked up a dusted copy of the satanic verses and headed towards the register. i always thought if i picked smart, thoughtful books and took them to the register, the cashier will be impressed by my choice and next time i come, he’ll be thinking, “there he is again, the guy with a great taste in literature.” you can guess how many times that has happened. it wasn’t any different this time.

“that’ll be $12.69.” i pulled out some cash and handed it over.

“is it usually this slow here?” human interaction is the key to humanity.

“around this time, yeah. usually we have more than two customers.”
a little laughter that followed killed the silence and made more room for breathing.

“although the business has been slow since everyone started to stop reading books, or buy it from amazon.” he handed me the change with a hint of simmering history in his eyes.

“yeah you’re right. do you own this store?”

“me? no. although i’ve been working here for a long time now. ”

“seems like a chill job.” all i saw him do was switch records, look outside, arrange the new arrivals, and take my money. i wouldn’t mind that.
“did you grow up in the city?”

“oh no. i moved here from canada. been here for 17 years now.”
hey, i know someone else who’s been here for 17 years.

“wow that is a long time. what’s your name?”

“i’m andy.”