seasons.


make me feel the seasons you’ve lived.

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i killed myself yesterday.


I killed myself yesterday.

the sun crept out from behind
the blue lilacs
like flakes of peaks beyond
the cityscape.
my hair started
to rot away at a slow pace
while the vultures flocked
for my remains.

one by one
they took me apart
and safely stole
what was essential to me
almost as if
this was their fate.

to decide my fate.

and they left.
i got up and collected
my remains
the essentials
destined to fate.

little did they know
what is essential is invisible
to the eye.

one last light


i reach out to the stars
for the light to live on for a while
my fragments travel afar
spreading out west in 49 miles

i close my eyes some certain nights
and gaze at constellations I’ve made
with cluster of souls that fit just right
with mine, free and calmly laid

i walk up to each of them
and feel them growing in fire
when they cool down I pick up those gems
and move them above and higher

they glance to see how far they are
and thank the Lord about
the shine, the scars, their dimensions out far
I see them sailing out, and out

and now I crawl in my lonely sky
missing the light I found
all but one sang goodbyes
a spacial rose still hangs around

in this dusky sky of mine
amidst the dark of lights, their vain
i still have one star that flickers
the light that care still remains.

it ain’t me


as far as you wish
move away from the light
there’s nothing moving here
just melt into the night
and maybe someone will help you
repay the life you’ve loaned
whisper you a snowflake
whenever you mourn
someone who gather flowers all along
from the time you felt reborn

but it ain’t me babe
of that i’m sure
don’t mistake lucifer for the lord.

alone, and fine.


every time i visit a cafe
i find myself a corner
in the center
of all attention.

it’s a hard place to claim.

i dress the chair
with my borrowed jacket
and proceed
to secrete away my bodily fluids.

then i chat up the barista
and get my cup
hoping she’d give me free refill
next time and
all the times after that.
it rarely happens
but i do what a man can do.

i find my old jacket
waiting for me
without complaining
that i didn’t get her a cup.

i like that.

and then it’s church time.
that’s how the life
goes by.

alone, in the center
of all attention.