rain or shine

There was a moment.

There’s always a beautiful moment when this happens. When you look into my eyes after a long time and your smile says it all. When I see you, the world. It stops and all that exists for me, is you and my eyes staring at you. There’s nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The world just stops and it’s a beautiful place and there’s only you. Just you. And my eyes staring at you. When you’re gone, the world starts again and I don’t like it as much as before. I can live in it. I just walk around in it, and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. I love it when it stops. It’s  the best thing I’ve ever known or ever felt.

When we have those most unusual conversations in front of everyone where nobody dares to join us, and it’s simple why they don’t. They can never be on the same level as Us together.

You know that. I’m well aware of that.

Every time I have few, but important questions to ask to you, but I never do. Because I know, you won’t answer. You won’t tell the truth. You won’t be honest. Every time this happens, you just leave me with more doubts, and amazing memories, that you know, are as special to you too. You just never express. And by the end of this moment, I start to lose myself, once again, in you.

Every single time.

I can’t help it. But I pretend like nothing happened. But I think you catch that quite easily. Still you don’t say anything. And that’s how we leave. And I end up in my room turning from one side to another on my bed at 4 in the morning trying to figure out where was I wrong? What went wrong when everything was so fucking perfect? I do all kinds of things I promised myself to never do just to take my mind off you. But at the end of the day, all that’s left is my regrets, and the unanswered questions that may always be left unanswered. Forever. The sun seems to never come up and present feels like a distant memory.

But it all changes in that moment. That one beautiful moment. When you look into my eyes and your smile says it all. When it doesn’t matter if there’s rain or shine. And in that moment, there’s no sunset. There’s just now.